Love by Design
Wednesday, December 23-26, 2020
Dear Marion,
Well, here we are. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am thinking about love. So many types of love … love of family, spouse/partner, movie/live show, career, friendships, etc. I can choose to love or there is the chemistry of love(lust) that fills you and can take over your choices if you choose. Bishop Michael Curry wrote and I am paraphrasing, love tells you how to direct your energy...it lifts up and it's inclusive. This is the love I am thinking about today.
The Twelve Days of Christmas was a favorite illustrated children’s book by Jan Brett that we read daily(year round) filled with beautiful illustrations. Both of my children loved that book, but your granddaughter would recite it every night even after we finished reading and turned off the lights...at some point, the rest of us would chime in and sing between the rooms...two turtle doves and a parrrrrtrrrige in a pear tree...bummbummbumm. Many years before, there was another memory formed, that of our family tradition singing 12 Days of Christmas in the dining room. Dads turn singing three French Horns instead of three French Hens at the top of his deep lungs. His lack of hearing and full spirit not allowing for our cutting in to correct, leading only to more laughter.
I thought of this the other day because a commercial had advertised the 12 days of Christmas on the “Ellen(DeGeneres) Show”. Other shows and stores have been talking and marketing the 12 days in December before Christmas for shopping. Time marches on and if we’re not careful, meanings change. I often don’t like change, but I still try. This is one tradition I don’t want to lose. I don’t want the 12 Days of Christmas to be first and foremost a marketing shopping extravaganza that pushes away the traditional, non material experience with loved ones.
When you and dad were growing up in Norwegian households, Christmas Eve was a big family dinner with the opening of presents while Christmas Day was celebratory but a little more quiet and the aire of Christmas remained through to January 6. The three kings arrived on January 6th to bear witness of the baby Jesus, twelve days after his birth on December 25. We kept our Christmas decorations and tree up until then marking the end of the Christmas Season. As your family grew, you and dad decided to alter the celebration to allow for the American tradition of Santa Clause and that continued into this next generation. Christmas Eve begins with church service in the early evening and afterward a small special dinner (usually seafood)that ends with Christmas cookies and a movie before bed(except for me who prepares in the delight for the following morning). I still enjoy leaving the decorations up until January 6, however this year we brought our live tree home earlier and it is hanging on for dear life ...it’s prettier in the evening when the lighting is more forgiving. Sounds a little like me at this point in my life...a little more forgiving in the evening light.
Christmas Eve this year we watched our church service virtually on our tv with candlelight and I softened a bit letting go of the traditions that might not feel natural. We ate in the kitchen at our re-newed Pop’s Table instead of the dining room. I still decorated the table but in a more cozy style. Lots of candles as we don’t have young children to worry about and soft lights. Elbows on the table...no problem. This is a different year, less commotion, less running around(except in those last hours of delivering home-baked love), the days are running together but I can still feel the love in the aroma of holiday food and the warm messages from family and friends.
During our church service, the Bell Choir performed beautifully and I thought about the Bell Choir when I was young in our Lutheran Church and not for the first time in the last two weeks. I had completely forgotten that I had been in the Bell Choir as a teenager and that it was my first introduction to bells that I can recall. We were so fortunate to belong to a church with such a gifted Music and Choir Director and the support of an open-minded and loving Pastor. Years later after traveling and experiencing other cultures, I learned to thoroughly appreciate church bells. They sound different depending on the location and they fill me with love just as they did on Christmas Eve. My teenagers, however at this point in time, choose to tease me rather than find the joy in it for themselves but that is ok and as a bonus, they more than help me laugh at myself. Sound familiar?. Another reason I love this town we call home...local church bells even if it is not the church we attend.
We made a new cookie this year, Chocolate Crinkle Cookie. It was utter deliciousness and more, almost brownie-like. We embraced cookie baking, eating, and sharing. It brought back memories of delivering warm Julekake and cookies to our neighbors by foot in the shivering darkness of early evenings Christmas week. Your kitchen was warm and heady with all things scrumptious during the month of December and I tried to share that with my family this year. Your granddaughter has a newfound baking gift...Julekake(Norwegian Christmas Bread). My only complaint...we ate that loaf warm and far too fast!
This next week will bring about your birthday and the stories you told us. As a child, you shared your birthday with a twin brother during Christmas week in addition to the end of the Great Depression. Oh... and Christmas Eve was your dad's birthday. Busy week. That didn’t leave much room for individual material reward but there was a love that was given and shared with you. In turn, that love was marinated and passed on to us and I feel blessed to have experienced all that you have shared.
Merry Christmas Week.
Talk soon,
Forever Yours
Quote:
“What are the things that you can’t see that are important? I would say justice, truth, humility, service, compassion, love...They’re the guiding lights of a life.”
Jimmy Carter
39th President of the United States
Philanthropist
Born: 1924